Baldur's Gate 3

➤ No microtransactions ➤ No DRM ➤ TONS of content (100+ hours without lazy and repetitive content) ➤ TONS of choices, consequences and different ways to play ➤ Amazing writing ➤ Amazing attention to details ➤ Amazing voice acting ➤ Best written companions, in-depth characters ➤ Beautiful graphics, great animations and facial animations ➤ Good NPCs design ➤ Single-Player! (optional co-op) ➤ Devs listening to feedback and releasing quick updates ➤ No CLOWNS in community! Game of the Year! PLEASE Larian never change! BIG full game + Made with LOOOVE! Learn Blizzard, Bethesda, EA, WB, Ubisoft

baldur's gate 3 really is just a"poking your nose where it doesn't belong" simulator. it's just me walking anywhere and make whatever is happening there my business for 100hrs and then sometimes you bang hot (and mentally deranged) characters. 2023 GOTY

I rolled a perception check to have hot lesbian sex

Came for the vampire, came because of the vampire. 10/10.

Under normal circumstances, I like to finish a game before I review it. However, these are not normal circumstances. Rather, these are as abnormal as circumstances get. (Okay, I might be exaggerating… but still.) Even though I’m only part way through the third act of the game, I want to get this review done because (a) I want to get this written before the year’s end and/or this award season, (b) I’ll get a badge for posting it during the Steam Awards, and (c) it’s [i]Baldur’s[/i] fucking [i]Gate 3[/i]! You probably already know everything I’m going to say, so why wait? So, yeah, what we have here is a game that is likely to win multiple “Game of the Year” awards, will be remembered in 2029 as one of the best games of the decade, and will be found on many peoples’ lists of the greatest games of all time. It is an absolute triumph in nearly every possible way, and we should all be grateful that it exists. That may sound hyperbolic, but I mean every word: this game could shake up the gaming landscape as we know it in ways that only benefit us as players. In a world of battle passes, loot boxes, and DLC, here comes [i]Baldur’s Gate 3[/i] with its dick swinging: a [b]huge[/b], complete game whose developers have no plans for DLC, whatsoever. Even EActivisionSoft will sit up and take notice when this game continues to exist in the public consciousness for a long time to come. “[b]But slanderoid[/b],” I hear you shrieking into your monitor or phone or PDA or whatever, “[b]we get that you think the game is important, but is it [i]fun?![/i][/b]” Let me answer your question with another question: What other game would have the player walk in on a goblin porking an orc in a barn and then have to kill them to keep them from ripping your team apart in a blue-balled rage? How about having the player talk a mad scientist into performing surgery on himself to avoid fighting him in a boss battle? How about letting a helpful but overly zealous bard pull out your character’s eyeball in an attempt to remove the Yeerk from their head, only to replace it with an eyeball he had in his pocket? Sounds like fun, no? …No? Oh, maybe I could have phrased it better: Yes. This game is fun as hell. You’ll find all of that in this game. Or you won’t. Maybe you’ll find all different stuff. The number of different paths and events in this [b]huge[/b] game is genuinely staggering. Normally this is the kind of thing that would give me choice paralysis, forcing me to turn the game off and never come back again. [i]However[/i], since every choice leads to something interesting, surprising, or, yes, fun, I never really felt like I was missing out. Honestly, I just feel like I need to play it again some time and choose completely different options next time. Okay, let’s run down the list of other great stuff in this game: this game is gorgeous, even on my ancient GTX 1080; the characters are believably expressive, adding to the immersion; the music is memorable; the voice acting is excellent; and narratively, this game is immediately gripping and never lets go. Basically, anyone who has a litmus test for what makes a good game, this game passes. It’s almost guaranteed. The story would be nothing, of course, if it wasn’t full of amazingly badass characters. Every member of the player’s party comes with an interesting back story and a set of side quests that will determine their fate as the story unfolds. Seriously, even the suckiest character (Wyll) has a cool story. And, as you’re probably aware, you can romance any of the people on your team and you’ll learn even more about them. I haven’t even mentioned the hordes of NPCs that the player encounters throughout the realm that have full stories of their own. Now, this wouldn’t be one of my reviews without sharing one of my objectively awful opinions that’s likely to leave you completely dumbfounded about how I manage to even play games at all. (Other than saying that Wyll sucks, that is.) So, here it is: I wish there was a setting to bypass all of the dice rolls during conversations. Not just the animation – the whole ass mechanic itself. As someone who doesn’t give two farts about D&D, the dice rolls just feel like a way for the game to keep my character from doing what I want them to do. I’ve been playing this for well over 100 hours (and I’ve only just started Act III, so I’m counting on another few dozen hours, at least) and I’m getting old enough that I’ve begun staring into the face of my own mortality, so I just want the decisions I make in the game to be followed through with – not checked against RNG to see if my decision would work out. In a world where Nabbit and Funky Kong exist, I don't think it's too much to ask... As it is, I’ve spent a great deal of time sitting in front of the loading screen after reloading my last save because a die roll didn’t go the way I wanted it to. I’ll give you a moment to get your heartrate back to normal. Take ten deep breaths. Do you still feel like smashing your keyboard or phone or stylus or whatever? Okay, take another second. Did you get it out of your system? Okay, let’s get back to it. I know that I was talking up the different, random paths the player can find themselves taking through the story just a little bit ago, but I think the die rolls would be better on my second playthrough. I’d love to see what kind of crazy crap happens when I fail a die roll for telling a bog hag to eat shit. But, on my first time through, I don’t want the outcome to be out of my hands. I just want to tell her to eat crap and let nature take its course without RNG getting in the way. Okay, I’m done disparaging the fundamental mechanics of TTRPGs. However, I’d be an even crappier reviewer if I didn’t remind readers that this game is [b]huge[/b] with hundreds of different possible outcomes in any given moment of the game – so there are bugs. I’ve had the game crash several times, which was frustrating until I remembered to save early and save often. Which brings me to one of my favorite features of this game that I haven’t heard much about. When I first started playing, I tried relying on the autosave to carry me through the game. This was a mistake – it only reliably autosaves when you enter a new map and the maps in this game are (care to take a guess?) [b]huge[/b]. Instead, the game allows the player to make manual saves [i]at any time[/i]. Have you been battling for way longer than you expected and now your mom is calling you downstairs for dinner? You can save if you need to. Are you in the middle of a conversation with an NPC but your cat has become a puke cyclone, so now you’ve got to step away and get mopping? Save. Are you in the middle of a date with your in-game romantic interest where you can see their nips and you want to come back to it again later – for science? Save, save, save! I know it’s a silly thing to love about a game that is revolutionary in many ways but I’m a simple man. I’d love to see this feature show up in more games in the future. Autosave has come a long, long way but sometimes I’d love to be able to make manual saves whenever I want, too. I want it all! Anyway, that’s enough rambling, I think. This game is fantastic. It’s my game of the year for good reason. (It even beat out [i]Resident Evil 4[/i], an outstanding remake of my favorite game of all time.) Barring financial or health reasons, everyone should play it. That means [b]you[/b]. [b]You[/b] should play this game. If you’re somehow still on the fence about playing it despite there being over 400,000 positive reviews of the game at the time of writing and, for some reason, this review is the one that is going to tip the scales: [i]play it, for god’s sake![/i] It’s worth every penny you’ll spend on it and many, many more.

A Vampire makes me question my sexuality 10/10